Monthly Archives: April 2011

“Don’t Wish Your Life Away” -Mom

My whole life, I was always looking to the next phase. In elementary school, I always wanted to be in the next year: if I were in first grade, I wanted to be in second, if I was in second, I wanted to be in third, so on and so forth. I remember being about 10 and my mom had taken me to Lake Goodwin on a hot summer day, and I looked over at all the high schoolers and thought, “If I could just get to 16, everything would be perfect.” Then…I hit 16…and realized that 16 was just not quite 18. Hit 18, went to college, and all I could think about was life without homework, cafeteria food, and life without being really poor. Then I graduated, and I experienced life without homework and cafeteria food, but I experienced a new level of poor. Now, I could drive, I had gone to college and graduated, and was in this real world I was always daydreaming of as a child, but it just didn’t quite look the same as it did in my head as I stared up at my baby blue canopy bed all those years as a child.

Despite always wanting to move forward, I did have these moments that I realized that time I wanted to move on from so quickly wasn’t all that bad after all. I couldn’t wait to get out of elementary school so I could say I was a junior higher, but then I got there and realized the kids were meaner, school was harder, and junior high is one of the most awkward times of anyone’s life. I had the thought that elementary school was kind of easy peasy and a bit fun and I had wished it away…then I wished to be in high school.

(Picture from junior high slumber party. We tooth pasted whoever fell asleep first. This one fought back. Very good memory.)

One of the more obvious and emotional realizations of what my mom would always say to me, “Don’t wish your life away,” was when I came back home after my first semester in college in California. I loved being away, I loved freedom, and I loved the adventure of it all, but when I came home, back to that place where I had done all that wishing, I realized at that moment, I really wanted time to just stand still. Actually, I realized I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back to where I’d wake up in the morning to mom cooking breakfast for us kids, as I sat on the couch with my oversized Coke a Cola shirt of my dad’s that I loved to sneak out of his bottom drawer and wear because it had this special smell that erupted out of the dresser every time I open it. I would pull out one of the shirts and run down stairs and sit on the couch with the shirt pulled over my knees, my arms wrapped around them, and I’d watch cartoons, taking turns sniffing the shirt and sniffing the Norwegian pancakes my mom was making for me in the kitchen. Just as we would be finishing up breakfast and some good old fashion little kid sibling teasing, my dad would walk in from fishing and show us the gross slimy trophy he’d caught and then right there, he’d whip out his knife and start filleting it. He’d always try to get one of us to eat the eggs, or the silvery skin, and we’d all freak out, and then the house would be full of a different smell that reminded me of my dad: dead raw fish.

(My older brother Drew, myself, and my new baby sister Devoney. Very very happy childhood.)

That first night home from college, I was lying in my bed thinking of those simple times and how amazing they were and how I wish that I could go back and just sit on my dad’s lap and feel like everything was okay, or lay my head on my moms lap as she’d so lovingly stroke my hair and tell me she loved me (technically, this scenario still happens). I was lying in my room that I turned 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, and started to cry at the realization that all those years were gone and maybe not appreciated for what they were. I slowly opened my door, walked the 2 feet it took me to get to my parents bedroom and with a sob, climbed in between my mom and dad as they slowly came back awake and tried to figure out what was going on. I just remember crying, “I don’t want to grow up!” My mom moaned her sympathetic moans that make you feel like no one else in the world could care more than she does, and my dad tickled my back in the soothing way he did when I was little and I’d say, “tickle my back datty, tickle by back.” We didn’t have a long conversation about the realities of life, my dad just said, “You spent your whole life wanting to grow up and now you are.” I slept between my mom and dad that night for the first time in probably 17 years.

You would think a moment like this would bring some perspective, but then I headed back to “real life” at college and rushed out of there as soon as I could. I took 45 credits/9 classes, both semesters my senior year to graduate and not have to go back. The real world had to be better than this…

(Taken the night of the greatest prank ever performed at Vanguard University. We plotted for months. This was what college was all about.)

The real world was one harsh reality after another of never having enough money, hating jobs, and real life scary and sad things happening that never made sense. I often find myself thinking of college and how amazing it was and how I didn’t even know it. How there is never a time in your life that you can wear whatever you want, stay up till all hours of the night, and eat fast food multiple times a day (although if you know me well, you’d probably say I just described my current life…). College really was pretty great, and I rushed that and wished it away.

(My two best friends in the whole world Lesha and Rachel, on Lesha’s wedding day. Happy day. I miss them!)

I say all of this because I have found myself wishing away my current status and desperately trying to move into the next phase. I find myself seeking a career that is more stable and wanting to get married and have babies and do all the things I haven’t done yet. Sometimes I get deeply saddened at the fact that I am not at this place, and then, last night, in this, what I can really only explain as an ambienesque (that’s for you Wesley) state of mind, all the times I had wished away came flooding back to me and I had to remind myself that before long, I will not be able to sleep in till noon (or noon thirty), I will not be able to jump in my car whenever I want and shop for hours, and will not always not hate wearing a bikini, cut off shorts, and high heels. I had this sort of flash forward of sitting at a desk, tired with ratty hair, wearing khakis that create multiple butts where they’re not suppose to, and drifting off into thoughts of my current status and wishing I hadn’t wished this time away. I am almost 27, and after rushing every pivotal time in my life forward, I am reminding myself to stop, smell the Norwegian pancakes and enjoy the now.  Weddings, babies, and all things adult will come, but I will never have this moment again.

(I think we’ll look back on these times fondly…)

The Greatest Television Characters Of My Generation

As a child, I loved to watch Nick at Nite. I’m not sure why…maybe it was because when I’d sleep over at my grandma’s, she’d let me stay up till 2:00 in the morning watching it with her, or maybe it’s because I’ve always had an affection for the 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s (those were the shows that were airing at the time of my childhood…now shows from my childhood are airing….it all comes back around), or…maybe…it’s because Nick at Nite revealed some of the greatest characters of the era before me: Mary Tyler Moore – So progressive, and beautiful, and such an amazing wardrobe. I can only imagine that women back then strived to dress just like her. Lisa Douglas from Green Acres – ”Darling I love you just give me Park Ave…”-lllloooovvvveed her and her awesomely hard to understand accent. And Lucy…who didn’t, doesn’t, couldn’t…love Lucy. Lucy and Ricardo had one of the greatest couple dynamic ever. This is making me want to watch old school Nick at Nite.

While those characters of my parent’s era were great, I have to say, in the new millennium, television characters have gotten even better. There are a number of shows that I am a loyal viewer of that I find myself saying, “This is the greatest character of my generation.” I of course say it about more than one, so it’s really just a phrase, but you get the point. Below is a list of a few of what I believe are the greatest characters of my generation.

Nancy Botwin: Weeds

In 2005, Showtime debuted their new show Weeds. The short premise was that a suburban housewife loses her husband to a sudden heart attack while still in his 30’s, leaving her with a large home, 2 kids and no skills. Somehow, this was all many seasons ago, she got into the business of dealing weed to the local suburban parents who bought at school PTA meetings, soccer games, and other, wildly inappropriate places to purchase drugs. From this, Nancy Botwin, the world’s greatest drug dealing mother, came to life.

Sometimes there are characters that you watch that you find yourself thinking, “there is no one else on earth who could play this part like her.” After a few episodes of the first season of Weeds, that was exactly what I was thinking of Mary Louise Parker. Her large, doe eyed glares, her long fingers that always griped iced coffee awkwardly, and her wavy hair, porcelain skin, and long legs that get her out of one drug related incident after another, could only be achieved by Ms. Parker. Nancy’s character is the perfect combination of femininity, motherly instinct and love, and bad-assness. I always appreciated that she utilizes her sexiness, but is smart, and knows when she needs help, or a gun, or a plan. Even though her children are constantly doubting her, as a viewer, I never have. She always prevails, and sometimes it’s completely crazy, and always awesome, but beyond that, it is always so “Nancy.” If I ever have to be a drug dealer, I aspire to be just like her.

Ari Gold: Entourage

I’ve always loved Jeremy Piven. I remember watching him in one of my favorite movies, Serendipity, and thinking, “Why isn’t he a leading man?” I was impressed by his ability to give a very good ( and long) and moving speech. This ability must have contributed largely to him taking on Entourage’s Ari Gold, agent to the main character Vinny.

The truth is, I didn’t love this show at first. I rented the first season, and one evening, popped it in hoping for a funny new show I could catch up on and become a fan of. Instead, I made it through the first few episodes and realized it was crass, and lewd, and sometimes down right disgusting…I didn’t like it…at the time. A few years later, I started dating a guy I like to call Dan. Dan didn’t have cable, and you can only watch so many Seinfeld reruns before you become desperate for a change of scenery. So, due to boredom, lack of options, and three whole seasons to watch consecutively, I gave it another shot.

Needless to say, this shot went over far better than the first one did, and I found myself hooked on this very boy oriented, still crass, and still pretty disgusting, show. But once I got beyond the lewd humor, it was the characters that kept me interested. I loved “E”, and Vince, and loved to hate Johnny, and Turtle, well, he’s Turtle. But, after a couple of seasons, I realized that it wasn’t the main characters that I loved the most. Jeremy Piven’s character, Ari, was starting to dominate the show (and award shows), and I found myself caring more about his story line than the others. Ari has some of the best one-liners on television, and no one can deliver them the way Piven does. Season after season, he outdoes himself in becoming a bigger and bigger character, and now, I’d say, his story line is much more important than Vince’s. I care more about Ari’s (self-destructing) career, than I do Vinny’s, or E’s, or Johnny’s, and especially Turtle’s. I think Ari Gold’s character is the perfect example of a supporting role taking over the show, and for that, he has to be one of the best characters of my generation.

Michael Scott: The Office

While I am sure that Ricky Gervais is the greatest television character of all times in England, in America, he is only the guy that always bitches about being first when Steve Correll is up for awards for The Office. Michael Scott, the American office manager, has to be one of the greatest male character on Primetime. I can’t think of another character that makes you laugh, cringe, gag a little, and cry every once in a while, than Michael. He’s a character that you look forward to watching every episode because you can’t predict what he’ll do next. He’s absolutely despicable, but you still pity him. He can be such a jerk, but still the nicest guy in the world, and he can be what seems like the worse employee ever, but still be the best at his job. There is no other character on TV today that I can say evokes so many emotions out of me as a viewer.

All that said, I don’t think anyone could achieve all this but Steve Corell. One of the best parts of the show is that you know a majority of it is improvised, and there are not too many actors that can improvise as well as Steve (Maybe Will Ferrel and Vince Vaughn). Michael’s stupidity and ignorance is played out so well by someone who in real life is nothing like this. I think beyond being one of the funniest characters on television right now, the reason I had to put him on this list is because Steve Correll has done what very few successful television actors have done, and that is create a character that is so memorable and loved, but one that is not associated with him as a real person. I can’t think of anyone that believes that Steve Corelll is anything like Michael Scott, yet he is believable and successful as the character. As an actor, this is an invaluable trait in going on to do something beyond the one show (case and point: the entire cast of Friends, besides Courtney Cox would did had a career before the show). Though Correl is leaving the show, and as I predict (and probably most people), before long, this will be the end of it altogether, Michael Scott will remain one of the greatest characters of my generation because of Steve’s acting, improvising, and all around hilarious portrayal of a pretty horrible person, while not being one, or being mistaken for one, himself.

Carrie Bradshaw: Sex and the City

I almost didn’t list Carrie for one reason: they came really close to ruining her character with the second Sex and the City movie. Despite the last taste in my mouth being that of microwaved dog poo, I had to dig deep, and go back to to 2005 when I first discovered the show.

I came in on the show when it was probably in its third or fourth season, and watched the ones I missed while working on my degree in English down in California. There was something so comforting and familiar about watching this series while typing my Critical Theory papers on feminism and women in the media. Like most fans of the show, I felt like I related with the pleasantly neurotic writer as she explored life through lunches with friends, shopping when she couldn’t afford it, and lots of trail and error. What women doesn’t relate with that.

The character of Carrie Bradshaw was genius on so many levels. For one, the great Sarah Jessica Parker was the only person who could play this role. Parker herself is charming and graceful and has a comedic timing not too many women possess. While the other characters were interesting and viewers cared about them and their stories, Carrie always remained the center of the show (much to the distain of Kim Catrell as rumors revealed). Viewers were always most interested in who Carrie was dating, how she was feeling, and what she was wearing. A good main character will maintain the pivotal story line season after season, unlike Vince in Entourage.

Carrie Bradshaw revolutionized the female television character and created a fan base that might be hard to beat. People tried to dress like her, they tried to talk like her, and they tried to drink like her. Cosmo sales all over America skyrocketed as a result of Carrie. I don’t know that there is a television character that has even been as influential as Carrie Bradshaw. Just her scope of influence alone is enough to put her on this list.

I still love this show and this character, but I do severely disagree with their movie portrayals, and wish they could undo what they did in the second movie altogether. But…I still love watching reruns even though I’ve seen them all about 15 times, and there is still a part of me that hopes they’ll make a movie that does the show and the character justice.

Donald Draper: Mad Men

I love Mad Men so much, at the end of every season, I mourn its departure. As soon as they start to advertise the season finale is approaching, I’m filled with sadness. This is due in large part to the leading character, Don Draper. John Hamm, a completely unknown actor in his mid 30’s landed the role of his lifetime, his big break, and one of the greatest characters on basic cable, when he was given the lead of this new show, revealing the life of a 60’s Madison Ave. advertising executive, with a dark past, a beautiful wife, and every man’s dream job. If I were listing the best shows of my generation, Mad Men would definitely be on that list as well (oh wait, I think I did that one).

Don Draper is one of the most complex and well acted characters I’ve seen on television. He plays the many roles of an advertising genius, husband, adulterer, father, and boss, all while being someone he’s not. If that’s not deep, I don’t know what is. Jon Hamm is shockingly good looking, and has inspired a revival of 60’s men’s fashion with his gelled over hair, skinny ties, and perfectly pressed suits. He delivers his pitches with passion and conviction, and makes you forget that smoking cigarettes and drinking scotch all day is not a good idea (the power of advertising…). He somehow makes me want to erase 50 years of women’s rights progression, pin my hair back, and type in a room filled with smoke and sexist assholes: Genius. Draper is a character who came from nothing, gained everything, but is never satisfied, so he slowly self destructs little by little each season. One minute you think this character is invincible, and the next, you pity him. Draper has so many layers, and Hamm reveals them each flawlessly and with such ease. Mad Men hosts a cast of interesting characters, but the show would be nothing without its leading man played by the now very famous and admired Jon Hamm. His big break was good for everyone.

There are a number of others that definitely deserve shout outs: Dexter, Danny Devito’s character on It’s Always Sunny, Betty Draper on Mad Men, Dwight on The Office, Gemma teller on Son’s of Anarchy, Tony Soprano, but I have to say, the characters listed, are truly the most impressive, well developed, and well acted characters in the history of television. Years from now, I’m sure my kids will watch Weeds and The Office on Nic at Night and say they were good characters for the 2000’s, but I believe, like Lucy and Mary Tyler Moore, Nancy, Ari, Michael, and Don will always remain television’s classics and will be appreciated for years to come. I just hope TV execs can keep coming up with more shows like Mad Men and The Office and less like The Gates, Undercovers, and Melrose Place Part II.

The Female Don Draper

I knew that I wanted to create a new blog that I could condense all my posts in (I couldn’t figure out how to actually transfer them, so they literally just got reposted…) and have just one place to write about all my interests; fashion, television… informing people on how to not piss off their bartenders (my favorite topic). As I thought about what I wanted the picture for it to look like, I knew I wanted to incorporate my typewriter first and foremost. Then I added my vintage cigarette holder, and before I knew it, I had my inspiration; a female Don Draper.

Draper is one of my all time favorite television characters. I don’t know if it’s his shocking good looks, his mysterious demenour, or the fact that I love the 60’s and copywriting, but whatever the reasons, I find myself more obsessed with this era and this character with each season.

So when I came upon the female Don Draper concept, I knew there had to be the typewriter, the cigarette and a glass of scotch. Dating a photographer lends tremendously to indulging my photo shoot brainstorms, and one normal Monday evening, Dan and I transformed the living room into a our studio and began shooting. While I am always amazed by Dan’s work, there’s something extremely satisfying about coming up with an idea in your head and then seeing it realized perfectly. I got my new blog picture as seen on the actual blog, as well as some shots just for fun. Disclaimer: totally not a model, so don’t expect too much. Everything I’ve learned, I learned from watching all 45 seasons of Top Model. Thanks Tyra! And thanks Dan for being my personal photographer!




Photos by Dan Poss Photography

Sucky Summer TV

Everyone loves summer; sunshine, swimming, sandals…and plenty of other things that don’t start with an “s”, but my degree in English forces me to list in alliteration. The one thing it is not good for, besides snowshoeing, is TV. In the past, or from what I can remember, there was no “summer” TV at all. Season finales were at the end of May, and then you watched movies and reruns till September. Or maybe I just didn’t notice summer TV as a child because I was playing outside and didn’t require the 2 hours (okay 3) of down time each night in front of the TV to recover from my day and relax me enough to actually fall asleep. So I suppose for the record, TV execs have taken some steps forward in regards to actually creating a summer season, but they haven’t figured out how to make that season very good.

Since this summer was less than impressive on the weather front, TV was a bit more important to me than the last. At the start, I was quite excited for the line-up. HBO had the return of Entourage, AMC had Mad Men, Showtime had Weeds, even Oxygen had Drop Dead Diva, Bravo had a bunch of Housewives, and ABC had Bachelor Pad. If I had to sum it up in one sentence, Bachelor Pad was my favorite show of the season…seriously, that has to say it all.  But again, that darn degree in English eliminates any hope of keeping is short. Here’s the break down of my opinion of summer TV.

Entourage: One of the 10 hot days we had this summer, I sat on my dock and hand wrote an entire entry about how horrible this show was this season. Because I hand wrote it, I lost that yellow note pad in the abyss of stacks of note pads, and didn’t want to rethink the whole thing again, so I’ll write the abstract. The show sucked. At the end of the last season, it appeared each of the cast members were moving on with life. I predicted this story line would make for a boring show the following season, and though it didn’t take the turn I expected….it did stay true to my prediction of boringness. The season was all about Vince going off the deep end. While this is pop culturally relevant and more likely than not what would really happen to him, it isn’t how we like to see Vinny. We love the fun loving, happy-go-lucky, generous Vince, that doesn’t let anything get to him, and doesn’t turn on his friends. This season, he starts doing drugs, dates a porn star, and goes crazy on his best friends, apparently cutting him out of his life for good. To keep this short, I’ll just say, if I wanted to watch a show about a young actor doing drugs and screwing up their promising career, I’d watch Showbiz Tonight’s nightly update of Lindsey Lohan’s life.

Mad Man: I think Mad Man deserves its very own entry. More to come.

Weeds: As one of my top 5 favorite shows of all times, I was pretty much counting down the days to the end of summer premier of Weeds. I literally subscribe to Showtime for this show alone (until I discovered Dexter, and now I have 2 reasons). But this season, though still going, has fallen sadly short compared to the others. After one of the most shocking seasons finales on TV last year, I was more than hopeful that Weeds would be able to deliver yet another, brilliant season of drug dealing, violence, and all around inappropriate behavior, but apparently being on the run and attempting to live a normal life is not good television. I hate Nancy’s wig, I hate that Shane is now a real psycho and not just a creepy kid, and I hate the boring story lines of hotel jobs, mini vans, and new identities; boring. I still think Nancy is one of the best female characters of all times, and I have great hopes that season will get better, but as of now, another disappointment. P.S. Did anyone else notice the superimposed “Seattle” scene in the first episode? You can’t view the whole Space Needle driving north on the 5, coming into the city…Come on Showtime.

Housewives: Another blog of its own to come shortly.

Bachelor Pad: So on a good note, ABC introduced its most brilliant idea since Dancing With the Stars (which I don’t watch, but apparently has a huge fan base and re-launches loosely named “celebrities” little careers into another couple minutes of fame), Bachelor Pad. The idea was to take previous contestants from past seasons and put them into the Bachelor house and make them compete for $250k. As we found out on the show, someone (not sure if it is actually ABC or not) hosts bachelor reunions, where contestants from all seasons are invited to engage in the same debauchery as on the show, just not on camera. As a result, the cast mates of Bachelor Pad already had relationships, again, a term I use loosely, with other cast mates. Throwing some of the show’s past most ridiculous characters into the house and then adding the incentive of money is pure genius. I loved every episode and it restored my hope that maybe they will either produce another good season of The Bachelor, or they will just ditch that concept altogether, and stick with the Pad version. Good job ABC.

Like I said before, The Bachelor Pad being the best show of the summer is a pretty good testament of how pathetic the season really was. But summer is over, and the Fall lineup is so huge, I think I’m going to have to upgrade my DVR space to accommodate all the new shows. I can only hope that the writers of Entourage, Weeds, and The Real Housewives (don’t act like they don’t have writers) will get inspired and do a better job next season. In regards to Mad Man, there are parts I love, and parts I hate, so I can’t simply lump it in with these other 3 failures. On a positive note, because the new summer seasons sucked so badly, I renewed my love for The Golden Girls. I can’t decide if I want to grow old and be the real life Betty White, or the Golden Girls’ character Sophia; it’s really a toss up.

Originally posted September 28, 2010

Gleeful Ending

As mentioned in my previous posting, I have been sent into a post-finale depression with all these deaths, chronic illnesses, and divorces. It’s bad enough that my favorite shows are ending for the season, but the creators have to leave me crying on my couch as the credits roll, backdropped with sappy music.

So I was pleasantly surprised with Glee’s finale that aired Monday night, and of course, watched today on my DVR.

I’ve been a fan of Glee since Fox so geniusly (not a word technically…) aired a sneak peak episode around season finale time, getting us viewers excited for the fall premiere as if we’ve been watching the show for seasons. Over the past year, we’ve watched the misfits become friends, Mr. Schuester and Sue Sylvester go head to head, and lots and lots of singing. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t downloaded some of the Glee covers. In the process, I’ve become a fan of Glee (though I won’t go so far as to call myself a “Gleeker”), and have been looking forward to regionals perhaps as much as Schuester himself.

Although a bit disappointed (but not surprised) that New Directions didn’t even place at regionals, I was thrilled that the season was left on a happy and conclusive note. Sue showed yet another glimpse of humanity by convincing the principal to extend New Directions one more year, and a lovely rendition of Somewhere Over the Rainbow duet played the show out by Schuester and Puck.

All I’m saying is, season finales can end on happy notes, without cliff hangers and dead people, and I’ll still look forward to the next season…

Originally posted June 9, 2010

Fall Boots On A Budget

There is no better time to buy a great pair of boots than the fall. Toward the end of every August, I start flipping through magazines, researching websites, and peering through shop windows for the perfect boot. In the past, I’ve always alloted a large budget for this one wardrobe necessity. This year I came across too many to choose from and so many good deals, I didn’t have to choose just one!

I’ve never seen so many cute boot options out at one time that are actually comfortable. All three of these boots are cute and don’t come with walking restrictions and day after chiropractic appointments.

Black Ankle Booties: Madden Girl

When ankle boots first came out a few years ago, I was not a fan. Then I put a pair of ankle cowboy boots on with shorts and I couldn’t believe how long they made my legs look. I highly recommend this style when trying to look taller…and what girl isn’t? I found these at Ross for 25 bucks.

Black Victorian Booties: Bamboo

I love love love these boots! If you are a true Ross shopper, you have to willing to search a bit. I first came across this boot in size 6 in the right shoe. I then went on to find 7 more, right footed boots. I was so sad, but after scouring the racks and racks of shoes, I gave up. 20 minutes later, a nice gentleman that worked there, tracked me down and offered my a size 7 in the left foot. Though I’m a true 7.5, I couldn’t turn down his good deed or these adorable boots. 18 bucks! Worth the search.

Brown Lace Up Combat Boot: Diba

I REALLY, really wanted a pair of military boots, but I’m predicting they are a one year fad, so I didn’t want to invest a lot of money on them. After a couple months of searching, I came across these for 50 bucks at DSW. I love mixing the tough military look with a girly dress or a pair of dressy shorts. They kind of remind me of the junior high days of Doc Martin boots, but I still think they’re a fun alternative to the typical dressy boot you usually wear in the fall.

Black lace up open toe boot heels: Nine West

I was so excited to find these Nine West heels for 25 bucks at Ross. The thicker heel makes these more comfortable than a normal high heel, and the lace style is sexy and Victorian all at the same time. They’re half boots, half heels. Love them!

Gray ankle booties: Madden Girl

Another exciting boot find at Ross. These gray booties were 23 bucks, and are so comfortable and cute. The three little buttons down the side are an adorable detail, and gray is a great boot color alternative to black.

Peep Toe Oxfords: BCBG

I’m not gong to lie, when I saw these at Ross I almost screamed out lout in excitement. BCBG lace up Oxford heels for 40 bucks! If that isn’t a killer find, I don’t know what is. I am obsessed with Oxfords right now, and these are a great, more dressy pair. The heel is quite high, so I recommend not wearing them if you are going to be walking on cobblestone, up or down a lot of stairs, or standing for extended periods of time….basically, if you plan to sit.

Yes, I know, this blog incriminates me on the grounds of buying 6 pairs of boots in a little over a month, but the total for all 6 is still less than what I paid for my fall 2008 boot, so I don’t feel too bad. Plus, it’s all for the sake of the blog; I’ll expense them…Can I actually do that?

Originally posted October 8, 2010

Dear Douchey Phone Guy,

I know, I know…you think you’re super cool with your navy blue blazer over an ironic tee shirt, and designer jeans. I know you think you look so good with your fake tan, and you probably think you’re fooling everyone with its authenticity…you’re not. And I’m sure Ice Man has been your hero since you first watched Top Gun 10 years after it first came out, but perhaps idolizing Hollywood’s token Doucher is not as great of an idea as you thought (do note, Val Kilmer’s career took a pretty pathetic plunge after this part). Maybe this act gets you a girl here and there (nothing lasting long as no girl wants to be with a guy that tells himself how beautiful he is rather than she), but I’m sure you’ve gotten more punches and tossed drinks to the face than lays. If you ever come up to me again, while talking on the phone, and demand a drink, and then refuse to pay till you finish your conversation, I will make sure the bluest drink I can make will accidently find you and smear your orange tan for everyone to see. If you want to be a Douchey tard, move to L.A.


Your Pleasant Bartender

Originally posted June 12, 2010

The Boring Housewives of New Jersey

I don’t know if it’s because we’re coming off the most dramatic Housewives season ever with the New York ladies, but so far, the New Jersey season has been nothing but boring. While babies are cute and cuddly, it turns out they are not as entertaining as nervous breakdowns, and bar brawls. New Jersey hasn’t been my favorite of the bunch, but they have always been good for one thing: drama.

So far, the season seems to be more about the housewife’s kids than anything else. Danielle’s daughter is modeling, Jacqueline’s daughter is still annoying (her new baby boy has adorable cheeks though), Caroline’s son is opening a strip car wash (if that isn’t a mafia move I don’t know what is…), Teresa just whined out her fourth girl, and I’m not really sure what happened to Dina’s daughter…Didn’t she have one? While kids are nice, this isn’t The Real Spoiled Brats of New Jersey.

But there appears to be hope…at least in one episode. Since Bravo started promoting this season, they have rolled the same clip of some huge dramatic scene involving Danielle  (of course) and the other ladies, and apparently the police and some crazy ex felon. While this promo helped perk my interest in the season, if this scene doesn’t air soon, and deliver, I might use my 10:00, Monday night DVR slot for something else.

Originally posted May 26, 2011

The More You Wave, The Less I Want To Serve You…

Remember when you were in class as a kid, and your teacher asked a question that you totally knew the answer to, so you leaned out of your chair and stuck your hand as high up in the air as you could, and wavedd it around yelling, “ooohh, ooohh, ooohh. Pick me”? But it never failed, she would ignore your eager attempt to answer that question and would call on little Jimmy, who would be sitting in the back, picking his nose, thinking about his mac and cheese he would be getting for hot lunch. “UNFAIR!” you moaned, as you would plop back into the hard seat, and sulk in defeat.

Ordering a drink in a club is much like trying to answer a question in a classroom.

Every night, I stand behind my bar and serve patron after patron. I pour whiskey cokes, shots of tequila, and more vodka Red Bulls than you can even begin to imagine. People bang their glasses on the counter. People holler. And people wave their hands at me. And it never fails, those people wait much longer. I will always take a quick glance through my line up of people, and immediately point at the person standing patiently. I will then go back to my well, make their drink, take their money, and then look for the next person not waving annoyingly at me. It will only be when no one else is left, that that waiver will get their drink.

I say lots of things in a night over and over again: “Vodka Red Bull?” “9 dollars!” “Yes, a vodka Red Bull is 9 dollar!” and “the more you wave, the less I want to serve you!”

Stop waving! Take a note from Jimmy. I bet he gets lots of drinks in clubs nowadays.

Originally posted June 29, 2010

I love Accessories!

It’s no secret accessories make a wardrobe. A great necklace, a bold ring, and my favorite, a signature pair of sunglasses, can transform an ordinary outfit. Accessorizing is all about balance; knowing when to wear pearls or when to wear diamonds, when to wear silver or when to wear gold, and when to go sweet or when to go spicy. Here are a few of my favorite accessories right now.

I know it’s summer, but black is always in.

Match a bold ring with a bold necklace.


Ray Ban “Wayfarers” transcend gender, era, and seasons. They are ALWAYS in style.

San Francisco Fisherman's Wharf

I found this ring for $5.00 at a vendor at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. Flea markets and street vendors are great places to find one of a kind jewelry.

Forever 21

There’s no better place to find inexpensive, but fun necklaces than at Forever 21. This one was $6 and I wear it ALL the time.

Gift from grandma

My grandma has been buying me things I don’t like for years now. Suddenly in her really old age, she’s managed to get a hit here and there. This flower hair clip was one of them. I’m sure she got it at Kmart or JCPenny’s, but It’s cute nonetheless.

Originally posted June 24, 2010